504 plan for the school and people's perceptions

Hello friend,

Craig and I met with the school today to fill out Bethany's 504 plan. This plan will be in place to keep her safe from those who don't understand, or don't want to understand about attachment disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), or more specifically Complex Trauma Disorder.

It is sad that parents have to do things like this because so many people in the public refuse to accept or understand the implications of trauma on children. I have often lamented, "This isn't rocket science, why is it so hard to understand that trauma WILL impact a child beyond what a hug or kiss can heal."

But, I also realize that if I wasn't walking this journey myself how would I truly "get it?" I guess the old adage, "Walk a mile in someone else's shoes," is really true. I really enjoyed someone else's thoughts on this saying,

"It's hard to understand someone else unless you've been in their position before. Like for example Harriet Tubman understood others in the Underground Railroad because she was in their position once. She was like all the other people that were slaves....she risked her freedom for others."

Harriet Tubman continued to guide runaway slaves across dangerous territory for many years, after she had gained her own freedom by running away herself. She put her life at risk each time she entered slave territory to help others, but she willingly and wantingly did it anyway. Why? She did it because she knew firsthand about the life of a slave, and she knew firsthand about life as a free woman. She was a voice for those who couldn't speak for themselves. For her bravery she was nicknamed Grandma Moses, the woman who led her people to freedom.

How could someone, who hasn't walked in our shoes, understand the trials and tribulations of parenting a child whose heart has been so wounded? Can another parent whose child has always been safe at home, and whose child has never seen the trauma found in so many orphanages wordlwide, really be able to "get it?" I fully doubt that most could.

I guess that is one reason why God allows things like this into our lives, so we can pave the road for those after us. Bethany is not the only child in her school with RAD and PTSD. I guess if by doing what is right for our daughter the teachers and other school staff get some education about the impact of trauma on children, then we have done part of what God's plan is for us.

In the meantime, we won't be making any friends among those who want to believe that love is enough to undo the neglect and trauma that Bethany suffered in a Chinese orphanage for the first 13 1/2 months of her life.

See you around.